In Transit

I am currently parked on a stool along a busy thoroughfare of New York's JFK airport. The recent realization that my flight to London has been delayed by a little over an hour was mildly ameliorated by the fact that I found it out using a free wi-fi connection provided by a super-overpriced health food stall. And so, my now 6 hour layover can be spent writing a blog post for you, my dear reader.

It is hard to believe that I am actually on my way to Zambia. As I packed my daily planner today, I found the calendar I drew for myself back at the end of March. At the time, the three months until this departure date seemed an endlessly long time to wait. But over the course of the past few months, I crossed off squares with black "x' marks, one day at a time until I reached the first section highlighted in yellow - my trip to Uganda - with such a big trip and so many things to do, even then the second highlighted area seemed impossibly far off. And yet, it has snuck up on me. Despite my disbelief its actuality, June 20th arrived with the anxiety, excitement and tears that heralded the realization that I really and truely am leaving.

And despite the fact that I am going to miss home like crazy while I am gone, I am so excited for this new chapter and adventure. It is humbling to realize that there are many things that you don't know yet that you don't know, and really scary to decide you want to find out what some of them are. I have tried my best to prepare myself for that by packing the comforts that will get me through the hard and challenging moments; Ghiradelli chocolate chips, warm fuzzy slippers, and board games (Cranium party in Lusaka!). While I hope that these will lessen the moments of frustration, I know that they will never completely blunt the occassional (I hope) feeling of "what on earth am I doing here?" Of course, these are also the most important of moments, because when you recover, you know just a little more about who you are, why you are doing what you are doing, and what you still have to figure out. That is the adventure I am really excited for. The adventure of becoming me.